Game: The Simpsons: Itchy and Scratchy Land
Release: May 2009
Platforms: J2ME
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: G5 Entertainment
Players: 1
Play: J2ME

Run For Your Lives! It's The Simpsons Itchy & Scratchy Land! Just like in the classic Simpsons episode, Our Favorite Family's theme park outing is ruined by Itchy & Scratchy 'bots. Play as Homer, Bart, Lisa and Marge as they survive Explosion Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land, Torture Land, and Searing Gas Pain Land. Kill the Kill 'bots with Bart's stink bomb slingshot. Build Bomb 'bots with Lisa's Robo-Generator. Blow 'bots to bits with Marge's vacuum gun. Life is a thrill ride with The Simpsons.

The game was only sold for mobile phones in the pre-smart phone era (J2ME operating systems), but the game's JAR file can still be found online to play in J2ME emulators.


Key Art


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                      THE SIMPSONS: ITCHY & SCRATCHY LAND
                             FAQ/WALKTHROUGH, v1.0

                         Based on the NOKIA N73 Version
                       Written and Maintained by SubSane
                            Last Updated 2013.07.04


Use Ctrl + F and the section numbers in the Table of Contents below to find
exactly what you need.


    1.01 Game Details
    1.02 Story

    2.01 Game Start
    2.02 On-Screen Display
    2.03 Controls 'n Techniques
    2.04 Characters

    2.05 Mini Games

    3.01 Park Entrance
    3.02 Explosion Land
    3.03 Unnecessary Surgery Land
    3.04 Torture Land
    3.05 Searing Gas Pain Land
    3.06 Park Entrance: Final Battle!


    5.01 Version History
    5.02 Guide Credits
    5.03 Contact Information
    5.04 Legal Stuff


===== 1.0 INTRODUCTION ========================================================

                              1.01  Game Details

This is the second of three traditional video games based on 'The Simpsons'
which were released for mobile platforms. It was preceded by the release of
'The Simpsons: Minutes to Meltdown' for J2ME platforms in 2007 and followed by
'The Simpsons Arcade' for J2ME and iOS platforms in late 2009.

This game was released in early 2009.

                                  1.02  Story

Run For Your Lives! It's The Simpsons Itchy & Scratchy Land! Just like in the
classic Simpsons episode, Our Favorite Family's theme park outing is ruined by
Itchy & Scratchy 'bots. Play as Homer, Bart, Lisa and Marge as they survive
Explosion Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land, Torture Land, and Searing Gas Pain
Land. Kill the Kill 'bots with Bart's stink bomb slingshot. Build Bomb 'bots
with Lisa's Robo-Generator. Blow 'bots to bits with Marge's vacuum gun. Life
is a thrill ride with The Simpsons.


===== 2.0 THE BASICS ==========================================================

                                2.01  Game Start

Play Game: Continue a game in progress, or start a New Game.

Settings: Adjust music, sound, and mute options.

Help: View detailed instructions and information on how to play the game.

About: View copyright and customer service information.

Exit: Exit to your device's menu.

Pause Menu: You can select ENTRANCE at the pause menu to return to the park
entrance, or select Achievements to view the game's achievements and your

                            2.02  On-Screen Display

Health: The red bar in the middle is Homer's health.

Menu: Click the right softkey to access the pause menu.

Enemy Counter: Some sections of the game will require you to destroy a certain
number of robots. This appears at the top of the screen.

Stink Bomb Meter: This appears in the top-right corner. It fills up as you hold
the stink bomb button.

                          2.03  Controls 'n Techniques

Command             |  Action

D-pad               |  Move characters, aim slingshot and vacuum, navigate the
                       mine maze, move bowling ball
Tap Left softkey    |  OK button, enter lands, use camera flashes, shoot
Hold Left softkey   |  Create bigger stink clouds
Right softkey       |  BACK selection in most menus

                                2.04  Characters

Homer: The main playable character in the game. Homer's goal is to go through
each of the four lands and save his family and fellow citizens.

Bart: Bart's special slingshot skillz help Homer defeat more of the robots.

Lisa: Lisa figures out how to use the bombs against the robots.

Marge: Marge's prowess with a vacuum is the stuff of video game legend.

Itchy and Scratchy Robots: Die bad robots, die!

Comic Book Guy: The sarcasm meter is off the scale when this guy appears.

The Flanders Family: Ned, Rod, and Todd never knew what they were getting into
when they decided to visit Itchy & Scratchy Land.

Mr. Burns and Smithers: Burns is always looking to feel young, and perhaps
running from robots is just what he needs. It's up to Smithers to keep him

Cletus and Brandine: Yokels are the lifeblood of theme parks around the world.

Mr. Van Houten and Milhouse: Milhouse's dad already pays a ton of money into
child support. Unfortunately, a trip to an expensive theme park doesn't count.

Agnes Skinner: Principal Skinner's mom needed some time away from her momma's
boy of a son. A theme park is just the ticket.

                                2.05  Mini Games

Most of the game will require you to move Homer across obstacles and
minefields. There are also mini games that appear when you encounter a member
of the Simpson family.

Homer's Bowling:
-Press OK once to start the speed meter.
-Press OK again to set the speed.
-Press Left and Right to strafe the bowling ball.
-Roll over powerups to collect them.

Bart's Slingshot:
-Shoot enemies with stink bombs from the slingshot
-Hold the OK button to release bigger stink clouds.
-Hit the switchers to turn on spikes and destroy enemies. Has a few seconds
 of cooldown.
-Shoot hot dog vendors to get them to attack enemies.

Lisa's Bomb Drop:
-Move the cursor and set a bomb.
-Press OK to launch a bomb.
-Bombs have a wide AOE (area of effect).
-Hit switchers to raise the spikes.
-Spikes have a cooldown timer.

Marge's Vacuum
-Aim the vaccuum cone toward objects to suck them in.
-Hit OK to suck highlighted objects.
-Move the cursor toward the target.
-Shoot the vacuum vendor to get a vacuum powerup.
-Use the upgrade to suck in and destroy robots.
-Upgrades lasts 9 seconds.


===== 3.0 WALKTHROUGH =========================================================

                              3.01  Park Entrance

You'll begin as Homer in the Main Street area of Itchy and Scratchy Land. Read
the helpful information from Comic Book Guy if you'd like the extra help, but
it's simple: there's a member of the Simpson family trapped in each of the
four lands. Complete each level to end the robot rampage.

You will also encounter Springfield citizens who are in need of help. They'd
prefer actual emergency care professionals who know how to save people, but
they're not around, so Homer will have to do it. Poor citizens. Each citizen
you collect in the four levels will appear next to the Itchy & Scratchy statue
in the middle of Main Street.

The levels have to be completed in this order:

1. Explosion Land
2. Unnecessary Surgery Land
3. Torture Land
4. Searing Gas Pain Land

Follow the green arrows to get from one level to the next.

                              3.02  Explosion Land

Citizens in This Level: Rod Flanders, Mr. Burns, and Cletus

Target Score: 400 Points

Minefield 1:

Make your way past the dirt, buzz saws, and spike traps to arrive at the first

This level is based on traversing the minefields and not losing all of your
health in the process. While each mine will bounce you along in the direction
of the arrow, it will also take some of your health. It's crucial to pause in
the gaps and trampolines along the way to recharge health.

The single arrows push you into the next mine in that direction and the double
arrows punt you over the adjacent mine to the next one. The rotating blue mines
switch off, which means you need to watch the rotation and time your jumps
to make sure they point in the desired direction. The blue arrows blink eight
times before they switch.

The first step is to plan your route. Figure out where you're headed and then
trace the direction of the arrows. You can sometimes react when you're in the
middle of the field, but it's best to plan ahead.

Here are two layouts of the first minefield. One for getting to the citizen
and one for getting to the exit arrow.

<, >, v, ^ = The path arrows
S = Start
F = Finish
C = Citizen
- = Mines
T = Trampoline


 - - - C

 - - - -

 - - - ^

 - - - T

 > > > >

 - - - -

 ^ < - -

   ^ - -


 - ^ - -

 - - - -

 - - - -

 - ^ < T

 > > > ^

 - - - -

 ^ < - -

   ^ - -

Here's the second minefield.

 - - v - -

 - - - - -

 - - v - -

 - - v - -

 - - > > > F

Continue from there and, after passing through another spike field, you'll find
Bart at the exit.

Slingshot 1:

The next part requires you to aim the slingshot and attack the robots as they
appear. Make sure the reticule is on the robot before you fire, though you can
sometimes lead them and fire where you think they're going to stand. The hot
dog vendor can be shot to release a wave of stink bombs across the field, but
it's best to wait until there are multiple enemies on the screen. Killing
multiple enemies will yield better combos and bonus points. Keep shooting the
robots until you kill 23 of them. Make sure none of them touch Homer.

Afterward, you'll assume control of Homer again. Walk past the next set of
spikes and buzz saws until you get to the end of the path.

Bowling Ball 1:

The next area will require you to throw balling balls toward the top of the
screen and use them to destroy robots but also dodge obstacles. First, you
need to charge the bowling ball by stopping the charge bar at the top. This
will ensure you have the maximum speed.

If you crash into an obstacle you'll have to start again. You can use yellow
crates and red barrels as explosive devices to destroy the robots in the way.
Make sure to hit the bowling ball powerup to send out two extra bowling balls
that can be used to destroy more enemies and get bonus points.

Turn into the fans when you see them or they'll push you into a wall, and look
out for the conveyor belts as well. These obstacles will try and derail you
and cause you to start over. The cannon, however, is required for you to
progress through the level. Make sure you hit that right in the middle.

Continue along until you crash into a gate at the top.

Bowling Ball 2:

The next bowling ball section will be much like the previous. New additions to
the obstacles include some mines which you need to use to hop over the trench
in the path, and some steam clouds which can push you into a wall like the fans
did. Keep an eye out for Mr. Burns as well who will be standing on the right
side about halfway along. Crash through the gate to continue.

You'll see two long stretches of buzz saw tracks. Wait for those saws to move
to the far left and then quickly run into the alcove at the top. Wait there for
the saws to move to the right and then run past them to the other side. Keep
moving past the spikes to find the end of the path.

Minefield 2:

The spike beds and saws have a pattern to them which you can use to get past
them. Afterward, you'll see some new robots wandering around the field. They
won't follow you so you should have an easy time getting past them. Move onward
to the first minefield.

<, >, v, ^ = The path arrows
S = Start
F = Finish
C = Citizen
- = Mines
T = Trampoline

The first minefield.

   - - - - -

 S > > v > > F

   - - - - -

   - - T ^ -

The second minefield.

   - > v - -

 S > ^ T > > F

   - - - - -

   - - - - -

The third minefield: citizen path.

 - - - - v

 - - v - <

 - - T > v

 - - - v <

 - - - > v

 - T - - C

 - - - - -

 - - - - -

 - - - T -

 - - - - -

 - - - - -

The third minefield: exit path.

 - - - - v

 - - v - <

 - - T > v

 - - - v <

 - - - > v

 - T < < C

 - v - - -

 - > - v -

 - - - T -

 - - v > <

 - - v - -

Afterward, move along and use the gap in the crates to get past the long buzz
saw tracks and to the end of the level.

                         3.03  Unnecessary Surgery Land

Citizens in This Level: Todd Flanders, Milhouse, and Mr. Smithers

Target Score: 600 Points

Bowling Ball 1:

Like before, launch the bowling ball at maximum speed. Take out the robots
along the way. The obstacles here won't be anything difficult, though the
fans that push the ball can be tricky. Look out for those.

Bowling Ball 2:

For starters, don't charge the ball at maximum. Keep it at half to 3/4 so that
you don't roll through the area too quickly. Some of the obstacles will be
tough to dodge, and it'll be easier to get the citizen if you're rolling

This next area includes ball ramps which you must hit in order to fly over the
barricades. You'll also reach a a fork in the road. The path on the left is
the easier of the two. Roll along to the end to continue until you find Bart.

Slingshot 1:

It's 17 robots to destroy this time around. They'll come at Homer as slowly
as before, and hot dog vendors will appear periodically. Remember to shoot them
only when there are multiple robots on the screen.

Once you destroy all the robots you can continue.

Minefield 1:

The next area will be full of minefields. It'll be mostly the same business
as before, but there are also some new types of buttons to deal with. The
switch arrows also change much more quickly than the ones in the first level.

<, >, v, ^ = The path arrows
S = Start
F = Finish
C = Citizen
- = Mines
T = Trampoline
R = Red buttons

The first minefield.

 > - R - F

 ^ T - -

 > ^ - -

 ^ - - -

Once you hit the button you can move into the gaps above and below the buzz
saw track to continue.

The second minefield: citizen path.

   - - - - - - - - - -

   - - - - - - - - - -

   - - > T - - - - - -

 S > - ^ > C - - - - -

The second minefield: exit path.

   - - - - - > v - - -

   - - - - - - T - - -

   - - > T - ^ v - - -

 S > - ^ > C ^ > - > > F

Run past the robots to get to the three colored buttons in the hallway to the
north. You can jump onto these buttons and change the color by repeatedly
jumping. The goal is to change the color of all the buttons so that the pattern
matches the one on the door. When the patterns match, the gate will open, and
you'll be clear to proceed into the next area.

The third minefield.

   - - - - - - - - - - v - v < - < S

   - - - - T < -   - v < - v - - - 

 F < < - < v ^ < < T < ^ - T - - - 

   - -   ^ < - - - - - ^ - < - - - 

Run along and follow the path until you run into Lisa to end this section.

Bomb Drop 1:

Like Bart's mini game, this one requires you to aim with the reticule in order
to send the bombs out and destroy the robots. The difference here is the
cooldown period between each bomb. For this reason it's best to try and kill
as many robots with each bomb as possible. It's also best to destroy them from
as far away as possible or they'll gather up near Homer.

Move along after this section to get to the end of the area.

Slingshot 2:

This slingshot section is the same as the last one. Keep an eye on the robots
hiding behind desks so you can take them out before they lob a bomb at Homer.
Otherwise, just keep firing until they're all destroyed.

Run along quickly to get to the next area.

Bowling Ball 3:

This bowling ball section is like the previous ones, with a few extras. For
one, there's a part of the run that looks like it's blocked. When you see this
spot move to the right to roll underneath a surgery bed with a gap underneath.
The third citizen in this level is also found here, just past the surgery bed

Otherwise, roll along until you crash through the gate.

Bowling Ball 4:

This one's straightforward. Roll along and select either path when you reach
the fork in the road. Both easily lead to the gate at the end.

Run past the final set of spikes to continue to the end of the level.

                               3.04  Torture Land

Citizens in This Level: Brandine and Ned Flanders

Target Score: 700 Points

Minefield 1:

Run past the first set of bombs and spikes to get to a set of colored buttons.
You'll need to jump on the buttons to change the colors and match the pattern
on the other side of the spikes. This will clear the spike wall and allow you
to continue.

The minefields will begin just after that.

<, >, v, ^ = The path arrows
S = Start
F = Finish
C = Citizen
- = Mines
T = Trampoline
R = Red buttons

The first minefield: citizen and exit path.

   - v < < - - v < < < - -

 F < < - ^ - - - - - T - -

   - - - T - - v - - ^ < < S

   - - - ^ - - T - - - - - 

   - - - C < - < - - - - - 

The second minefield.

 - v - - 

 - - - -

 - v - -

 - v - -

 - v - -

 v T - -

 - - - -

 v - - -

 > > < v

 ^ - - -

 - - - v

Run to the end of the path and exit the area.

Bomb Drop 1:

This section introduces a switcher for floor spikes. They'll kill the robots
and block them from getting to Homer. The cooldown on the spikes means you'll
still have to destroy some of the robots yourself. Lousy game, making you play
it yourself.

Afterward, you can continue on toward the end of the area.

Bowling Ball 1:

This one's as direct as it gets. Roll along and follow the path on the left
to get to the gate at the end.

Bowling Ball 2:

This section will be slightly more difficult, so it's best to roll at about
half speed. Watch for the mines to bounce over barricades and look out for
sharp corners. You should be ready to turn the moment you see a wall or

Bowling Ball 3:

This one's short and sweet. Look out for the second citizen on the right side
of the path and then roll on to exit.

Slingshot 1:

The obstacle here is the two columns in the middle of the room. They'll block
you from shooting robots at an angle. Just wait for those hard-to-reach robots
to walk out into the path of your slingshot.

Follow the path past the spikes to find Marge at the end.

Vacuum 1:

This new mini game has different controls than the others. Point the
cone-of-suck at nearby objects to suck them in, then point the vacuum at robots
and shoot the object. Rinse and repeat. You can also bank shots off the walls
and obstacles.

Run down past the sets of buzz saws and spikes to get to the end.

Slingshot 2:

The problem here is that buzz saw that'll constantly get in the way and block
your shots. Make good use of the hot dog vendors and don't waste time shooting
at the robots who appear in the upper-right corner. Any shots in that direction
will probably be blocked by the buzz saw. Wait for those enemies to get closer
before you shoot them.

Run past the final sets of floor spikes and bombs to get to the end.

Vacuum 2:

This one's slightly more difficult due to the barrier between Marge and Homer.
You'll have to grab an object and then bank the shot off the top wall to reach
the robots on the other side. Most of them should be easy to hit if you bank
objects off the far left side of that wall. Clear them out to continue into the
next hallway of spikes and buzz saws.

Get to the end of the path to complete the level.

                          3.05  Searing Gas Pain Land

Citizens in This Level: Mr. Van Houten and Agnes Skinner

Target Score: 700 Points

Slingshot 1:

This mini game includes a switcher for the floor spikes. Use them when enemies
are closing in from above and below. Otherwise, the robots here die just as
easily as in previous slingshot sections. Shoot before they get close to Homer.

Run past the next sets of spikes and bombs to get to the next area.

Bowling 1:

This level has a new type of ramp: water geysers. They appear as small round
pools of water next to a barrier, but work just like other ramps. Hit them as
you roll up to continue. There's also a citizen on the right side of the path
that you'll need to crash into a wall for, but it's worth the points.

The second new obstacle are raft bridges across a river. There'll be a moving
raft in each bridge, but you should always make it across as long as you move

Run past the final obstacles to complete the area.

Vacuum 1:

This vacuum section introduces a new powerup that allows you to suck in robots.
Hit the vacuum vendor to get the powerup and unleash sucking hell on those
Itchy & Scratchy bots!

Run ahead past the floor spikes to move on.

Geyser Field 1:

They've traded the mines for geysers, but it works the same way.

<, >, v, ^ = The path arrows
S = Start
F = Finish
C = Citizen
- = Mines
T = Trampoline

The first geyser field.

 S > - v - - - - - - 

   - - v - T > v - - 

   - - v > ^ - v > v 

   - - - - - > T ^ > F

   - - T ^ - - - - - 

Once you've cleared it you'll see more of those colored buttons. Change them
to match the pattern next to the floor spikes and open the path.

The second geyser field.

   - - - - - - - - - -

   - - - T - - - - - -

   - - - v - > v - - -

 S > > - ^ - - T > > > F

   - - - > - ^ - - - -

The next path to the exit will have--surprise--spikes!

Vacuum 2:

Easy peezy. Kill the robots, take the powerups from the vacuum vendor, and
save the girl. Uh, I mean Homer. Save Homer.

More spikes ahead. Watch your feet.

Bowling 2:

The first ball's easy. Roll along and stick to the right side. The bridge will
include a tricky corner and a moving raft, but nothing too tough.

Then it's another stretch on foot. The alternating floor spikes shouldn't be
challenging at this point, and the buzz saw tracks are wide enough to easily
traverse them. Onward!

Lots o' Spikes coming up. Keep going and watch the timing on the floor spikes.
Then there'll be a small area littered with walking bombs. The best way to get
around them is to walk along the top and head to the empty space to the right,
nearest to the large tree. Head south from there to exit.

                       3.06  Park Entrance: Final Battle!

This is it! A final, climactic battle against the demented forces of mechanical
mayhem! So, you know, whip out your camera and start flashing.

The Itchy and Scratchy robots will appear in waves of four. Your time is
limited, so you'll need to move from one group to the next and quickly flash
them to death. Move around the central plaza in a counter-clockwise path and
you'll encounter plenty of enemies.

Once you hit 28 robots you'll be done with the battle, the game, and...


Well, no. Not your life. That keeps going. Look out for floor spikes.


===== 4.0 ACHIEVEMENTS ========================================================

Official Achievements:

Killing 200 Enemies - Killed during progression through the game.

50x Combos - Collect these during the slingshot, bowling, bomb drop, and vacuum
mini games.

Saving 10 Citizens - Save the 10 citizens in the four lands.

  - Level 1: Rod Flanders, Mr. Burns, and Cletus
  - Level 2: Todd Flanders, Milhouse, and Mr. Smithers
  - Level 3: Brandine and Ned Flanders
  - Level 4: Mr. Van Houten and Agnes Skinner

Other Achievements:

Medals - Bronze, Silver, and Gold medals are awarded based on your score in
each level. Complete the bowling and mine maze sections as quickly as possible
to get max points there. Score lots of combos in the slingshot, bomb drop, and
vacuum sections to get even more points.


===== 5.0 LEGAL / MISC. =======================================================

                              5.01  Version History

2013.07.04 - Version 1.0: Guide completed.

                               5.02  Guide Credits

Thanks to these folks...

1. The people who made the game, including EA Mobile, G5 Entertainment AB, and
Alex Mauer.

2. Wilson Lau for his excellent guide to 'Bart vs. the Space Mutants'. It
inspired the over 60 guides I've written to date.

3. You for reading.

                            5.03  Contact Information

subsane at gmail dot com

                               5.04  Legal Stuff

1. The Simpsons (TM) and (C) 2008 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Game
software (C) 2008 Electronic Arts Inc. All rights reserved. All other
trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

2. This guide copyright (C) 2013 SubSane. This guide may be distributed freely
as long as it remains in its ORIGINAL and UNALTERED form. It is only for
private use and may not be reproduced for commercial purposes.

If I should discover that this guide has been altered in any way and is being
displayed publicly, I reserve the right to have the guide removed from that

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